Goreworm - The Path to Oblivion EP
Label - CDN Records
Runtime: 18 minutes
Release Date: March 23rd, 2018
At the ripe old age of 36, I may not be hip to the 'slams' that metal kids these days listen to on their shitty earbuds while I shoo them off my lawn with a grandpa guitar, hurling Slayer LPs in a frothing rage of tr00 kvlt righteous fury, but every so often I stumble down the rabbit-hole and something dank tenaciously sticks to my shoe, refusing to be ignored. Sure I'll walk around pretending like it isn't there, but eventually people start asking about the smell, and by then it's too late. I have a serious Goreworm infection, and as any metal-head worth their salt knows, the only cure for a bad case of the br00tal-deaths is to lance and purge the boils in the form of verbal or written diarrhea. This is the latter. I'm sorry.
Hailing from the middle of ass-fuck nowhere (Brantford, Ontario), Goreworm allegedly started as a project by Brent Moerschfelder and Jordan Elgersman, intending only to write a couple of songs "just for the fun of it." According to their press release, when they noticed that every track was better than the last one, they decided to go whole-hog and make an actual band out of it, proving once and for all that anything can be made better by chucking a few more Canadians at it. The malformed motley crew was then picked up by local legends CDN music and catapulted into the stratosphere of obscurity where I found them floating in the aforementioned rabbit-hole alongside an old Thy Flesh Consumed promo and Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'. Initially mistaking it for a copy of Abysmal Dawn's 'Obsolescence', I picked it up and joyfully skipped home, not realizing that Goreworm had used me as a vector to spread dankness to the uninfected multitudes who read this blog (all four of them.)